A Collection of Insanity Inspired Stories
by Icee Triggur
Summary: What happens when you have two authors at the same house and they are unfortunately sleep deprived? They make up strange, insane stories of course! First up: Drunk Trowa Oo
1. Drunk Trowa

Disclaimer: We do not own Gundam Wing or any of the characters. All we own is our stupid plot written at 3:00 AM in the morning because Uknown Writer X wouldn't let me (TRF-Chan) sleep -_-'. So don't expect a fricken' masterpiece.  
  
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One dark and not-so-stormy (more on the heat wave side) night, Trowa and Quatre were driving home from a party at...uh...a place. Yes, a place. You got a problem with it? Write your own story! Anyway, Trowa was rather, ah, drunk. Quatre, being a good boy and all, was sober. Now, 'drunk Trowa' did not process the fact that you can't just go 200 miles, even on an interstate.  
  
"Uh...Trowa?" asked Quatre nervously, "I don't think we should be going this fast...and you aren't supposed to be in the middle of the road..."  
  
Trowa turned around and glared at the blonde, "And just who's driving? Thank-you-very-much! I fought in a WAR and I know how to use it!" he shook his fist sluggishly and let go of the steering wheel. The car began to careen slowly towards a cliff.  
  
Quatre sighed at the vast stupidity his friend was capable of when drunk, then became panicked at the sight of the cliff, "TROWA! TAKE THE STEERING WHEEL!"  
  
"Nu-uh. Not until you say that you're sorry for questioning my ultimate pehnomanal cosmic moon tiara driving powers!"  
  
"Reading Sailor Moon again, huh?"  
  
"And what's it to you?! She's addictive!"  
  
"Ok, ok! I'm sorry! Now get us away from the effing cliff!" Quatre screached.  
  
"Since you asked so nicely..." Trowa neatly turned the car away from the cliff and accidently ran over many small, furry animals as he went back to the road. He stared down at the blood, "That'd come off."  
  
Quatre looked like he was going to be sick, "You hit the bunny, too! How could you?!"  
  
"Whoops," Trowa shrugged apologetically, but didn't really seem that sorry.  
  
"Why don't you let ME drive?" suggested Quatre.  
  
"NO! IT'S MY CAR NOT YOURS, BIATCH!" yelled the normally silent Trowa.  
  
"Um...no? My family owns this car..."  
  
Trowa glared, "It's mine now. Because I say so," he added before Quatre could get in another word. He then took out another bottle of beer and began to sniff it before drinking it all and nearly hitting Quatre in the head when he threw the empty bottle back. It broke a window and went flying out of it.  
  
Quatre suddenly thought he heard something in the distance, "Trowa, I think I hear sirens..."  
  
"Well, they can't be for us!" he sped up the car.  
  
"They're sort of yelling at us to stop now..."  
  
"They've gotta catch us first!" Trowa said. At the words 'gotta catch', Quatre began to unconsciously hum the Pokemon theme song, but he wasn't sure why.  
  
I wanna be the very best,  
  
like no one ever was,  
  
hum de dum de dum  
  
Five beers, a hit pedestrian, and a broken fender later, Trowa was still running from the cops. Of course, now that he was thouroughly wacked, he was YELLING the Pokemon theme song.  
  
"I WANNA BE THE VERY BEST,  
  
LIKE NO ONE EVER WAS,  
  
TO CATCH THEM IS MY REAL TEST,  
  
TO TRAIN THEM IS MY CAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUSE!"  
  
Quatre was afraid his eardrums would split. Also, after one line, Trowa had a nasty habit of switching lanes. Great, not only would Quatre be deaf, but he'd be sick, too.  
  
"I WILL TRAVEL ACROSS THE LAND,  
  
SEARCHING FAR AND WIDE,  
  
EACH POKEMON TO UNDERSTAND,  
  
THE POWER THAT'S IIIIIIINSIIIIIIIIIIIDE!"  
  
"Oh crivens, SHUT UP!" yelled a cop.  
  
After going through the song about fifty times, both in TV and movie remixed version, and having the whole of the Sanq Kingdom police called out on them, both parties were beginning to tire out.  
  
"Quatre," said Trowa seriously, "I have one last plan to get us out of this..."  
  
"Surrender?" suggested Quatre hopefully.  
  
"No," replied Trowa curtly. He made a sharp right turn and moved into the cornfields.  
  
As the roof had been worn from the last hours' trials and there was nothing standing between Quatre and large, evil stocks of corn that wouldn't fail to whip him in the face, he did the only thing he saw fit to do, "Our Father who art in Heaven..." pause, "HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!"  
  
~*~  
  
Sanq Kingdom Prison  
  
"Where are we?" asked Trowa.  
  
"Jail. No thanks to you," grumbled Quatre.  
  
An officer in an official looking unform approached Trowa, "Son, you have red eyes, have you been drinking?" he asked.  
  
Trowa stared at the officer for a minute, "Sir, you have glazed eyes, have you been eating donuts?"  
  
Quatre smacked his head repeatedly against a wall.  
  
~*~  
  
Later...  
  
"Quatre, I am so very, very sorry," said Trowa for what must've been the hundredth time since he'd sobered up.  
  
Quatre forced a smile, "It's alright. Heero will be here to bail us out anytime now...hopefully...he was rather pissed, you know."  
  
~*~  
  
Two days later...  
  
"I think you just may have suffered enough," exclaimed Heero Yuy, coming to collect his two friends.  
  
When they got outside, Quatre and Trowa ganged up on Heero, "Yeah. And we'll make sure YOU suffer for keeping us there!"  
  
The End!  
  
Or IS it?  
  
*Twilight zone music* 


	2. Are YOUR shields RelenaProofed?

This story is the result of playing too much Gundam Battle Assault 2. It's detrimental to your sanity, trust me.  
  
Disclaimer: We own no rights to any Gundam series. LEAVE US ALONE DAMNIT!  
  
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It was the biggest Gundam Tournament ever. Of course Heero was the champion, but you want to know how he got there, don't you? Just say yes and get on with it. Now, first of all, through cliché magical powers, everyone from all the different Gundam universes had been able to appear. Yep, everyone from Domon Kasshu to Char Aznable (or whatever his last name is) but they're not important because all they get to do is sit in the audience and 'ooh' and 'aw'.  
  
What, you don't like that?  
  
Well too damn bad, go write your own story. DAMNIT!  
  
We lose more readers that way.  
  
Anyway, on with the actual story. Well now, Heero had progressed steadily through the rounds of the tournament as had Master Asia. It finally came, Heero vs. Master Asia. So the battle begins. This is no ordinary battle, is a battle to the death!! ( or at least a trip to the hospital ) Well anyway the battle just started and Heero got the advantage and got the first hit. Master Asia almost fell over, but flew over Heero and he took his hands and went whoosh. It nearly defeated Heero, but you know him, he never gives up. That's why he will die the earliest out of the 5 Gundam pilots, dur. It's not relevant to this story, but you know he will. Heero shot Master Asia with the buster gun thing, and Master Asia's arm went fallen into outer space ( now that is far) But then at that very moment Master Asia did that hand whoosh thing and almost made Heero fall down the cliff thing and die. Heero did the thing that first came to his mind self- detonate. At that very moment Relena came and ran in front of both Gundams and yelled "HEEEEERROOO!!!!!!!"  
  
Master Asia's shields immediately began to shatter and he covered his ears as the young woman's deafening screech reached his ears, "SHUT UP! I WAS GOING DEAF ENOUGH ALREADY! YOU DON'T HAVE TO MAKE IT WORSE!" he moaned.  
  
Heero gave a grim smile, "Loser. I've had MY shields Relena-proofed," he stopped for a moment, "So ha," he added on second thought.  
  
~*~  
  
Duo smiled at the camera and said, "You can have your shield Relena-proof or any other girl that yells Heero, at the Maxwell Garage. Only $29.99 per shield. Located at 77th and Y street near the Edgewood Shopping Center. Or call our 800 number and order for only an additional fee of $55 at 800- RELENAPROOFEDANDPROUD. That's 800-RELENAPROOFEDANDPROUD. Or just go to our website at DuoandHilde.com.NO WAIT! DON'T GO THERE! THAT'S--er-- private! Go to . AND DON'T GO TO THAT OTHER SITE!"  
  
~*~  
  
20 minutes later, the hapless authors laughed to themselves and clicked on DuoandHilde.com, sure that nothing REALLY bad could be located there. What they saw (not top mention heard) amazed them.  
  
"Oh.my.God.I didn't know people used Gundams for THAT! EEEW! Wouldn't you be cramped?  
  
".Duo is sexy." said the other author, "Especially nekkid Duo.yuuuuuuuuuum."  
  
Both authors fainted, though for entirely different reasons.  
  
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TEEEH NED!!!  
  
Er.  
  
The Den.  
  
No wait.  
  
THE END! THAT'S THE TICKET!  
  
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This is another story written by: TRF-Chan and Unknown Writer X...( Yes we are stupid, thank you for asking) 


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